Social Interaction Hiatus.
Can’t tell you what my deal is, if I could, you wouldn’t understand anyway.
That feeling you get, when you watch something go wrong. Your body tightens up, you start to shake and you get goose bumps… try feeling like that everyday. When 12 hours of sleep isn’t enough. . The only thing that makes you feel better are large doses of Vicodin. . Laying in bed, muscles relaxed and you cant even keep your eyes open long enough to check the time, melting into the bed… next thing you know, its 6:45am . . alarms going off, shuffling around in a dark room. . The days go by so slow, same people, same conversations, same songs and thoughts.
One thing is making me push through everyday, the chance to feel alive again. I wish for it. I pray for it. I don’t have much faith in anything, or anyone these days. I’ve learned to let go and move on, but there is one thing I just can’t seem to forget about.
“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”
I’ve let go of all the hurt, the pain, the frustration. I just want you. I want your company. I want your laugh, your warmth. I won’t give in until I have it, or something close. I forgave you, for everything. . I wished nothing but the best for you, but you’re not happy. . I’m not happy.
I need to live for me, I can’t wait anymore. I need to be someone. As lost an as confused as I am, I’ve got to live for me. Don’t think I wont think about you, or miss you. . Your messages last Wednesday has me in a lonely place. You’ll know my heart is when you go to find it.
Focusing on my health for the next few months.
“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame”
